Unraveling of a Pathological Liar

A huge chunk of us were scrolling on TikTok one day, seeking a moment's distraction, only to stumble upon a saga so gripping it rivals the latest binge-worthy series. This happened to millions who discovered ReesaTeesa's account of marrying a man, who the world now knows as “Legion”. By the end of her story, many learn that Legion’s lies were as intricate as they were vast. Her viral story “Who DF Did I Marry” was a wake-up call to the realities of having a relationship with a pathological liar.

Through her eyes, we witness the allure of a connection that swiftly turns into a battleground of reality versus illusion. Her candidness in sharing the raw, often painful experiences of loving someone who lies compulsively is both brave and educational. What makes her story resonate isn’t just the drama, but rather it’s the universal longing for honesty in our relationships and the stark reminder of the importance of recognizing deceit. It prompts a burning question: How well do we truly know the person we’re with? 

Her interacting viewers all related to her story in one way or another. Seeing this, our community realized that this isn’t just ReesaTeesa’s story; it’s a call to action for all of us. It urges us to look closer, and not to ignore the red flags waving right before our eyes. And if you find yourself facing doubt, remember, that support is just a conversation away. Whether it’s seeking advice, sharing your story, or looking for professional guidance, you’re not alone on this journey.

Join us as we delve deeper into the complexities of dating a pathological liar. Learn the signs, understand the impact, and discover how to safeguard your heart in a world where truth and deceit often blur.

What is Pathological Liar?

Have you ever wondered why some people lie about even the smallest things, with seemingly no reason at all? Or, in Reestessa’s case, has someone ever lied to you about having funds for a house or car, with no reason at all? It’s a behavior that goes beyond the occasional white lie or the lies told to spare someone’s feelings. Pathological lying is a pervasive and often perplexing issue that can leave lasting scars on relationships.

Pathological liars are compelled to lie, often without a clear motive or benefit. Unlike nonpathological lying which is lying for gain or to avoid consequences; Pathological liars do so as an almost reflexive way of interacting with the world. These individuals weave complex narratives that can bewilder and hurt those closest to them, impacting trust and creating a chasm in personal connections.

Recognizing this behavior can be the key to safeguarding your emotional peace. The stories spun by a pathological liar can be as damaging as they are fantastical, leaving partners and loved ones in a constant state of doubt and emotional turmoil. 

If this resonates with you, it might be time to take a step back and assess your relationship dynamics. Are there inconsistencies in stories that don’t seem to add up? Is there a pattern of deception that’s hard to ignore? It’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy but also with a firm resolve to seek clarity and support. Whether it’s through conversation, counseling, or personal reflection, addressing the issue head-on is the first step toward healing and, possibly, transformation.

Why Do They Lie?

At first, the lies may seem senseless. However, the motives behind pathological lying are as varied as they are complex, rooted in deep psychological needs and sometimes unresolved traumas. Let’s delve into the core reasons that drive this compulsion:

  • A Shield Against Insecurity: For many, lying is a defense mechanism, a way to cloak insecurities or perceived inadequacies. By fabricating stories that paint them in a more favorable light, pathological liars create an illusion of competence, success, or desirability that they fear reality doesn’t reflect.
  • The Thrill of Control: Lies give the illusion of control over how others perceive them, offering a temporary sense of power and mastery over their narrative. This control can be intoxicating, especially for those who feel powerless or insignificant in other aspects of their lives.
  • Escaping Reality: For some, the world crafted by their lies is preferable to the harshness of their reality. Whether it’s escaping from personal failures, unsatisfying relationships, or unmet expectations, lies serve as a portal to an alternate existence where they can be anyone but themselves.
  • A Cry for Attention: Pathological lying can also stem from a deep-seated need for attention and validation. By spinning tales that captivate or evoke sympathy, liars often seek the spotlight, craving the validation and concern that may have been absent in their formative years.
  • Psychological Conditions: It’s important to acknowledge that pathological lying can be symptomatic of underlying psychological disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder. In these cases, the lying is interwoven with the fabric of the condition, requiring professional intervention to address it.

The Signs of a Pathological Liar

Recognizing a pathological liar isn’t about catching a single lie; it’s about identifying a pattern of deceit that’s woven into the fabric of their interactions. Here are some key symptoms to watch out for:

Consistency Is Missing: Their stories seem to change with the wind, lacking consistency and often contradicting earlier tales. You might notice details fluctuate or whole narratives shift over time, leaving you questioning the veracity of their accounts.

Details, Details, Details: Ironically, their stories can be overly detailed, with an abundance of specifics that seem unnecessary. It’s as if by adding more color to the story, they believe it becomes more credible.

Evasion Over Evidence: When pressed for proof or confronted with questions, a pathological liar often becomes evasive. They might change the subject, offer up another story as a distraction, or become defensive instead of providing clear answers.

A Drama Magnet: Their lives seem to be a magnet for dramatic, often implausible, events. While everyone faces ups and downs, the constant chaos in their stories can be a red flag.

Seeking Sympathy: Many of their tales are crafted to elicit sympathy or admiration. They position themselves as the hero, the victim, or the misunderstood genius, aiming to evoke an emotional response that reinforces their narrative.

No Guilt in Sight: Unlike someone who lies out of necessity and feels remorse, a pathological liar shows little to no guilt or remorse for their deception. They may even appear perplexed or offended if their honesty is questioned.

A Pattern of Problems: Their lying causes noticeable problems in their personal and professional lives, yet they continue to lie. Relationships may suffer, jobs may be lost, and yet the pattern persists.

Finding Out The Truth

Armed with knowledge of these symptoms, you can approach your interactions with a keener eye, better able to discern truth from fiction. Remember, though, that spotting these signs is just the first step. Deciding how to deal with a pathological liar—whether through confrontation, setting boundaries, or seeking external support—is a journey that requires compassion, both for yourself and for the individual caught in the web of their lies.

Can Pathological Lying Be Cured?

While there’s no simple “cure” for pathological lying, there is hope for those willing to undertake the challenging work of self-improvement. The capacity for change varies from person to person, influenced by the complexity of their circumstances and their dedication to therapy and personal growth. Here are some treatment options to help guide those who struggle with pathological lying: 


Professional intervention, particularly therapy, can be a beacon of hope for pathological liars ready to seek change. Different therapeutic approaches offer various tools and insights:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is particularly effective, helping individuals recognize the triggers and thought patterns that lead to lying. Through CBT, a person can learn healthier ways to cope with insecurities, stress, or the desire for attention, gradually replacing the compulsion to lie with more honest forms of communication.
  • Psychotherapy: For those whose lying is intertwined with deeper psychological issues, psychotherapy can offer a space to explore and heal from past traumas or unresolved conflicts that fuel their behavior.
  • Family or Couples Therapy: When the lying has significantly impacted relationships, involving loved ones in the therapeutic process can help mend trust and foster a supportive environment for change.


 In cases where pathological lying is part of a broader mental health condition, such as a personality disorder, medication may be prescribed to manage certain symptoms, although this is more about treating the underlying condition than the lying itself.

Commitment to Change:

While therapy and professional support can provide the tools for change, the journey ultimately hinges on the individual’s commitment to transforming their behavior. It requires persistence, self-awareness, and often, the willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about oneself. The road to change is seldom straight, marked by setbacks and challenges, but with sustained effort, improvement is possible.

Support Systems: 

The support of friends and family can be a critical factor in the healing process. A network of understanding and compassionate individuals can offer the encouragement and accountability needed to foster change. However, it’s also essential for loved ones to set healthy boundaries, protecting their well-being while supporting the individual’s path to honesty.

Breaking Up with a Pathological Liar

Ending a relationship is never easy, but the challenge multiplies when it involves a pathological liar. However, prioritizing your emotional well-being and mental health is crucial. Here’s a practical 7-step guide on how to break up with a pathological liar.

Step 1: Prepare Yourself Mentally and Emotionally

Before initiating the break-up, take time to reinforce your emotional and mental resilience. Remind yourself of the reasons for your decision, acknowledging the impact of their lying on your well-being. It may be helpful to write these down as a reminder or discuss your feelings with a trusted friend or therapist for support.

Step 2: Choose an Appropriate Setting

Decide on a setting for the conversation that feels safe and neutral. Public places can provide a sense of security and discourage emotional outbursts, but ensure it’s quiet enough for a private conversation. If you’re concerned about your safety or the conversation escalating, a phone call or video chat might be more appropriate.

Step 3: Communicate Clearly and Firmly

When expressing your decision, be direct and clear. Use “I” statements to convey your feelings and avoid blaming language that might trigger defensiveness or further lies. For example, “I feel hurt and confused by the mistrust in our relationship, and I’ve decided it’s best for me to move on.”

Step 4: Set Boundaries

Expect that they might try to persuade you to stay through promises of change or more lies. Stand firm in your decision and set clear boundaries. Let them know what communication, if any, you’re comfortable with moving forward. It’s okay to request no contact to heal.

Step 5: Seek Support

Breaking up with a pathological liar can be emotionally draining. Surround yourself with friends, family, or a support group who understand what you’re going through. Consider professional counseling to navigate the complex emotions and regain trust in your judgment.

Step 6: Focus on Your Healing

In the aftermath, give yourself permission to grieve the relationship and the impact of the deceit. Engage in self-care practices that promote healing and reflection. Remember, healing is a personal journey that takes time, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.

Step 7: Learn and Grow

Reflect on the experience to recognize red flags and trust your intuition in future relationships. Consider this a learning opportunity to better understand your needs, boundaries, and values in a relationship.

Moving Forward

Breaking up with a pathological liar is a significant step toward reclaiming your truth and integrity. It’s a decision that requires courage, self-respect, and the belief in a healthier, more honest future. Remember, it’s not just about ending a relationship; it’s about beginning a new chapter of self-discovery and growth.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

If ReesaTeesa’s story resonates with you, or if you recognize the signs of pathological lying in your relationship, it’s time to take action. Remember, it’s not just about ending a relationship; it’s about reclaiming your life and your truth. 

Our team at Soledad House, specializing in recovery from various forms of addiction and emotional trauma, is here to support women on their journey to healing and empowerment.


Change is possible with professional help and the individual’s genuine commitment to treatment.
Approach the situation with care, focusing on the facts and expressing your feelings without aggression.
This behavior can stem from various issues, including childhood trauma, personality disorders, and a need for control or admiration.
While no strategy is foolproof, listening to your intuition, seeking consistency, and taking things slowly can help.
Counseling services, support groups, and specialized programs like those offered at Soledad House can provide invaluable assistance.

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